Breakup – 5 Questions To Ask Yourself Beforehand

Ending a relationship, parting – is often one of the most difficult decisions in life. Often times, it is also the most appropriate one. Before you say the last word, however, ask yourself a few important questions – this is a good time to delve into your own feelings and become aware of your mistakes.

Some of the questions asked out loud will help us to open our eyes to many of the previously overlooked issues in the relationship. Additionally, they will help us reflect on whether breaking up is really the best decision we can make.

Perhaps you are not convinced of the breakup at all, and you only want to do so because your immediate environment is putting pressure on you to do so.

Below you will find five questions that should help you make decisions about the future of your relationship and in drawing constructive conclusions about the mistakes you have made unknowingly. It is about learning from them and creating better, healthier and more forgiving love relationships in the future.

1. Breakup and disappointment with your partner. Were you looking for the ideal?

The above question is very important. Each of us, entering into a romantic relationship, creates his own image of an ideal partner. Remember, however, that the perfect match – and even more so the perfect relationship – does not exist.

So if we place too high expectations and hopes on the other person, it is very likely that after a short time we will be deeply disappointed. We often forget that our partner is a human being and not the prototype of an ideal.

Hence, when the phase of the strongest infatuation ends, the image of our dream ideal begins to blur.

If you persistently make your partner behave as you wish, your initial disappointment will turn into a frustration that will consume you more and more each day.

And the more dissatisfied we are, the more we have a grudge against not only our partner, but also the whole world for our misfortune.

Very often, the thought of parting is one of the first reactions to disappointment with your partner, when you realize that he has nothing of our dream ideal. If this is the case for you, you should begin to work on yourself and understand that “love is not blind” or that there are no ideals.

2. Is your relationship toxic?

Very often we do not realize that our relationship is toxic. Feelings, emotions and pain can effectively obscure the true face of our love relationship with a partner. We often miss signs of abuse, distrust, manipulation or abuse (especially when it comes to the emotional side of our personality).

When we realize that we are stuck in a toxic relationship , the only decision that is healthy for both sides should be to break up as soon as possible. As the name of this type of relationship suggests, the toxic relationship poisons our lives with venom that causes pain, dissatisfaction, frustration and unhappiness on all levels.

3. Do you stay calm on a daily basis or are you stressed?

While this may seem trivial, periods of intense work and intense tension make us less flexible, less tolerant, and in the habit of making hasty and wrong decisions.

Under the influence of strong stress or even anxiety disorders, we see the world in black colors and then we can put many issues that bother us on the proverbial knife blade. The excess of obligations and requirements towards us means that we are not able to soberly look at our own affairs and what is happening in our immediate environment.

In this case, parting is not the best solution.

If, during times of severe stress, the word “breakup” comes through your mind, try to calm down and think rationally. Perhaps you don’t want to end the relationship at all and your feelings are just a reaction to everyday stress and your inner fears.

4. Are third parties influencing your relationship?

The importance of third parties in our emotional relationships very often is greater than we think. Hence, the above question is extremely important when you think about ending a relationship.

It is not an isolated incident that our parents do not approve of our relationship. There are countless such situations all over the world. Parents and in-laws have a habit of sticking their noses to their children’s relationships, which often causes serious conflicts, quarrels, disagreements, and may even cause partners to break up.

No relationship in which third parties have an opinion can be healthy or have a chance for a long and happy future. On the other hand, when our parents do not accept our partner, we feel rejected and we feel that we cannot live up to our family’s expectations.

A breakup, however, is not the best way out of this difficult situation. The saddest thing about it all is the fact that sooner or later we’ll start venting our frustration out on our partner. Living from quarrel to quarrel does not make the slightest sense.

In such a situation, you should either end the relationship or talk clearly with your family and make them aware that you are happy in the relationship and if they do not accept it, your relationship will loosen up.

5. Are you sure of your decision or are you in doubt?

The model of upbringing our society assumes taking care of other people’s opinions about our lives. That is why we care so much that others appreciate us and accept our life choices.

If a person close to us says that we look bad, we should try to get a better paid job, if our partner is not suitable for us, we start to seriously consider it. However, it should be borne in mind that the opinions of third parties should in no way form the basis of our decisions.

Without looking at others, you should become aware of what you really want in life.

Immerse yourself in your own soul and look for answers to questions that have been bothering you for a long time. Nobody knows the answer except you. Remember that your happiness is in your hands and only you are responsible for your life.

At the end

If you are wondering whether breaking up would be the right thing to do, ask yourself these five questions. At the same time, you will discover feelings and issues within yourself that you had never had a clue before. Learn to love yourself and – most of all – trust that the decisions you make are the right ones and the best solutions to your problems.